Anchors in a broken sea that I do not wish to drown in

Anchors in a broken sea that I do not wish to drown in

To be an African man, 

is me a mean sounding melanin skinned brother with a hardened voice. 

Be the thunder that you hear before you see the lightning, 

which means, 

I can not speak to you in a softer tone, 

unless deceit is what I crave.

I can not tell you what hurts me at night because I'm an African son which means, 

I cannot show you my weakness.

Anchored by my African blood, 

is balancing a planet on a pencil, 

so they do not draw  conclusions that I cannot manage the world, 

hold my own, 

chase off snakes and lions because men should do that too. 

I was called an African son,

which means you cannot see my river, 

because men should not cry.

I cannot show you sadness if I have none.

Cannot portray myself an 8 year old boy cowering in the corner alone holding tightly in the cold darkness of the night because I want someone to hold, 

for once, 

not be the shoulder to cry on.

Please loosen the chains, 

and let me drift away.

No longer will I be anchored to your truths like it was some semi commandment.

I am the letter holding signatures of past lives fought through bondage and struggle, 

and I will no longer be a burden.

I'll be like Atlas holding the skies so you do not see the pain in my eyes each time you look up to see the sun rise, 

again.

Each time another day goes by, 

the words "BE A MAN" the meal that breaks the fast, 

that's like monkeys watching me eat, 

through the windows, 

and they cannot be trusted.

They will take what little I have and make me feel less of myself, 

and not feel whole enough.

I'll put on my beret, and soldier on, 

oh I mean man up.

The crown from Kings past weighs me down, 

as the waves come.

Even now that my mask needs to be sewn back on again. 

I feel like clothing, 

because the tags only come off when I prove myself not trash,

not reckless, 

not weak enough to only be called boy.

I'll have girls, and be proud.

In that moment I hold another new born girl, 

I'll be proud and ignore the voices.

Open my gifts, 

because they mean more to me than what other people think, 

I'll be proud.
African brothers, I'm more man, 

than what others think, 

when I start to love myself first, 

I'll be proud.

And lift up my anchors from this broken sea that I do not wish to drown in.

Picture credit https://www.instagram.com/temboh_/

22/07/18