Solemn Confession

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

This is my solemn confession,

I pray won't be used against me.

I killed someone today, you see,

and it wasn't my intention.

It wasn't my desire to bleed profusely for another man's wounds.

I feel myself a stranger in my own body.

How easily it was that he was lured to fall,

to be trapped.

Maybe he too understood.

The demons in the rearview mirror,

edging closer from the start.

How weak he must have felt,

if he felt pain at all.

Maybe the flashbacks in his head numbed it all in the end.

To know this yet hope to be saved,

every breath like a treasured egg full of life.

In that moment he felt alone.

In my mouth, a sour taste.

Cannot bring myself to say his name,

cannot wash away his blood.

He still speaks the same to me, loudly,

even when his essence is gone.

How do I rid myself of this burden?

Does it ever go away?

Does this torment lighten the load?

Maybe there's an answer in the pain.

Maybe the shiver in my fingers would turn these tears into rain,

make the guilt go away

and let the dead tell no tales.

If it wasn't today, Father,

I would do it all over again,

get off on the pain

and feel the pleasure in watching his essence drain away,

grasping for any light,

grasping for any light to a tunnel's end,

too far to reach.

I killed someone today, you see,

and it was all my intention.

It was my desire to bleed profusely for another man's wounds.

I feel myself, myself in my own body.

How easy it was that I was lured to fall.

17/06/26✔️

Fōns Vitae - “Fountain of Life”

Listen to it here