Desiderium

Desiderium

To write this poem, 

is to let myself lay comfortably upon your pedestal.

Feel at home in his new surroundings. 

Never been this high before. 

Never felt myself mean this much to someone else apart from me. 

Never been held up atop the mango tree,

feel the breeze in my face and wait for an inevitable fall. 

It never does come, neither the darkness nor the feeling of a fractured heart held steady by embarrassing hope. 

The world no longer cold place, 

my skin bare yet all I feel is longing in each follicle for your warm embrace, 

for your gaze to dent memories in my mind, 

and miss the moments when they don't. 

To write this poem, 

is to feel completely weak, 

feel the fight in me slowly fade away to the realization of me completely in awe of someone else apart from me. 

Choose a path best suited to my greatest wants, 

and want you with me on that journey,

loathe the moments without you close by, 

feel weak. 

feel me a shadow of myself,

feel weak. 

Long for your lips on mine and feel weak. 

Crave myself inside you. 

Make me smile to myself on a midday sunshine on a slow day. 

You the sensation, 

you the you the song, 

I want you to be the reason for my relapse each time I crave the cold for myself. 

The shadows no longer seen in the darkness. 

To miss the light in each instance of it is to feel weak, is to be weak. 

To write this poem is to admit that, 

and to feel at ease with that realization, 

you make me weak. 

I crave every part of you, 

to explore the explored and feel it a new over and over again. 

I wrote this poem in hopes you would read it every bit of it, 

feel the words, 

and come to the realization of what it means for me to write this poem.

27/01/22✔️

"Desiderium" Latin meaning "an advent desire or longing; especially a feeling of loss or grief for something or someone lost" 

"Ars longa, vita brevis."