Four minutes past of unloving thoughts

The sun shines again; bright on my face.

Another day gone; that is gone like my thoughts drift away another text illuminates my smart phone, 

but I didn't respond.

As I was deep in thought of her day light bringing smile, that crinkle on her cheeks that maps the happiness she felt for me then. 

When her hand was in mine,

while we walk in the rain, 

but now her beauty smile fades like sand castles at the beach washed away.

I never called.

I never call.

Maybe three extra minutes of awkward talk would have kept us close, 

but who knows, 

when that fortified desire to have her that you had is like a campfire, 

past the night time stories just charring to a halt. 

It stopped.

Til the next text in quick succession arrives. 

She says she's always feeling lost. 

Says she doesn't know what to do when the ball is in her court. 

Bemused to my singular thoughts that pitted us playing singles when the facade we infused to curious minds was we were happy playing doubles.

Hold your hand up high and you'd feel the light weight of our love because it was that small.

In that moment.

Three minutes past.

And the weight has not lifted.

My mouth bitter from so many souring unsaids from last night's troubles.

We had a good thing.

With so much happy.

Like teenage lovers at a summer foam party just admiring the bubbles.

We said we'd last,l.

And I'm sure we can.

Though I'm tired of being the dreamchaser; let the sandman take away beautiful thoughts of a red rose growing on a withering grape vine, 

that's intertwined to the sun's warmth because at one point we did shine.

Her loving smile vivid as the now radiating sun.

She's still mine.

I've known that the longest.

And so I replied.

In a space only known to drifting astronauts, 

but for me, 

just four minutes past...of unloving thoughts.

✅07/01/18