Nothing grows here

Nothing grows here

I made good music to love from these strings on this violin, and it felt good too.
I now play alone, 
a solo act isn't sad, 
like the wind whistles it's truths to the trees, 
I play for my soul.
To feel at ease with this slow music, 
that at some point I honestly know felt really familiar.
How she'd braid her hair, 
style the longest one so she'd feel a little more cute, 
or how she'd wake up each morning half asleep and drowsy, made me smile,
her voice drunk on last night's sins,
reminisce on the thoughts and they were good.
She made me feel soft inside when the words she let slip out of her mouth say she loved me,
or so I'd imagined. I think the other guys thought that too. 

To be honest, not everything she said was true, 
and who am I to believe any different, if I am to taste the salt at this end of the pool,
I'd be foolish to believe that the rest of these waters would have given me a taste that was new. 
She'd speak with the ease of river winding slowly down a sloped hill,
demons in my imagination perhaps, 
She my muse,
I know these hands, these fingers,
they touched you. 
And now nothing grows here, 
no trees, grass or fruit, 
how could they when the waters that fed them, 
that slipped down slowly from the bend of your lips, a sour thing - lies, 
the untruth and I've been told that it can only be poetry unless something dies, 
well my heart didn't make it, if you must know. 
When there's enough sadness in a place to make the strongest of hearts fall away to pieces,
a place where the moss should have started to grow. 

I sit here thinking of a thousand words I should have said to you, 
to your face, 
to the smile you gave me the moment you realised it's love that grew here, 
in the place that we didn't expect. 
In a place that we always kept safe, locked up away, hidden and closed, 
what bloomed then still reminds me of you. 
How my thoughts never stayed still.
How my body always felt at home around you. 
I swear I heard the birds sing songs about you each morning in bed, or maybe I'd imagined that too. 
I remember the change,
we had a thick mist surround our faces because what gloomy day doesn't have one to begin with. 
I remember everything you said, 
each voice note etched painfully across my mind, 
so the pain never leaves me. 
The things she said, made me believe in,
like the sunshine never ends. 
Until the dark clouds had formed, 
full on all the words she never said. 
Then it poured, 
and I felt that weight of everything upon my chest, 
and at that moment everything changed.
I smiled a little different, said "it's fine" like the serpent just had to strike in the places it hurt. 
My mind was a quick sand of many questions that to this day still never end.
In that moment, I grabbed on tightly to the strings,
painfully pulled on them so we'd play music together again, 
only this time when the applause had quieted down and the spotlight came on, it shown bright, 
upon me,
alone on stage.




16/12/19✔️

Comments

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks so much I really like it too. Thanks for checking it out.

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  2. Replies
    1. Really grateful that you feel that way about this piece 🙏.

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